What did ever happened to Gordon?
December 22, 2008
Gordon Weinburger, also known among students as “the coolest campo officer around,” has not been seen on campus since the first week back at school this year. A published author who once owned his own Pie Company (later sold to Mrs. Fields) became a campus security officer not because he needed the money but because he wanted to give back to the area where he was bringing up his family. Hosting late night jam sessions for students coming out of Saturday night parties to help them chill out before heading back to the dorms was only one of the many things Officer Gordon brought to the students on campus. Gordon was creating a program to help students break the cycle of nightly drinking and mayhem in an effort to bring a higher sense of community to the campus.
Now, I haven’t seen Gordon around campus as of late. One wonders if he was laid off or suspended for being too lenient on students caught drinking underage or holding non-registered parties. One look at the campus security section of the Colby-Sawyer College website and it’s clear that he’s still on the staff as an officer on campus but one still wonders where the hell he has been on campus.
I would like to believe that Campus Security has in its best interests to help the student body rather than hinder any of our activities. When they go to parties and bust them it is only to make sure that we as students are not hurting ourselves or others. I feel it has become more the main focus of some RA’s to bust parties up rather than Campus Security. Campo is here to protect us from outside disturbances and sometimes ourselves, not to kill our fun, no one else tried to be like this than Officer Gordon. Not only did he go to parties and check on students but he made sure that everyone was o.k. before pulling people out of said parties for misconduct. He understood that the weekend was the time for students to unwind and relax with their peers and he knew that students drank on campus. Rather than bust every student for drinking at a party on campus, he made sure that the students involved were safe and being responsible for their actions.
If campus security wants to regain good standing with the students on campus, get Officer Gordon out there on Saturday nights. Not only did he care about our safety but what students were doing on campus and how he could help to make our college experience more enjoyable.
Concerned students should contact campus security. their e-mail is cssafety@colby-sawyer.edu. Ask them what the hell ever happened to Gordon and tell them how much we miss him.
ps. Gordon’s car was the fucking shit. I miss seeing it on campus.
CSC Used as shelter in New London…also…Finals not due until Mid-January
December 21, 2008
Colby-Sawyer, after shutting its doors to students because of the Ice Storm, has become a shelter for local families and the elderly in the wake of the storm as more inclement weather is sure to hit the area right around Christmas Eve.
Heavy storms are predicted for the east coast, as heavy winter storms hit New England, New York and New Jersey over the Christmas week. One question must be asked when such storms arrive during the holiday season:
Will I receive my Tickle Me Elmo and Fitness Barbies on time or will it be chaos on Christmas once again?
One can only hope that Christmas gift giving will not be damaged by these storms, and if it does become the case, that the spirit of the holidays will guide other to help those in danger because of the Jack Frostbite-esque storms that are colder than Nanci Pelosi this time of year.
Colby-Sawyer has given students an early Christmas/Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa present: All tests and papers due Dec. 12 are now due Jan. 12 and Dec. 18 due dates have been extended to Jan. 15. Students are happy for the early holiday release given by President Tom “Tommy Gun” Galligan this year. One can only hope that this happens more often.
Capstone might even be pushed back on their true blue final due dates in April. But that’s just speculation by this author.
Frozen School sends Students Home Early
December 14, 2008
Colby-Sawyer, alongside Franklin Peirce and other New England Schools, have sent students home as President Bush calls for a state of emergency in Massachusetts and New England.
Colby-Sawyer Students have nothing to fear about finals and capstones, as all have been postponed while power is restored to the school and the surrounding areas. There is no way to get in contact with teachers or advisers while both P: Drives, Blackboard and school e-mail accounts remain down.
New England Frozen after Ice Storm: Leaves 800,000 Powerless
Students should:
- Check to see if E-mail is working every few hours (or at least days) after power is restored to the school to see if students will have to return early or what to do about finals.
- Most finals will be changed to take home or canceled right out.
- Capstones, if not handed in, are still due and should be sent to teachers as soon as possible
Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?
December 7, 2008
Question: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Plato: For the greater good.
Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely
chicken’s dominion maintained.
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
Timothy Leary: Because that’s the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.
Oliver North: National Security was at stake.
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be
of its own free will.
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicity brought such occurrences into being.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road
crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable
occurrence.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Jack Nicholson: ‘Cause it (censored) wanted to. That’s the (censored) reason.
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
Ronald Reagan: Well,……………….
John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity. I would argue that the chicken never crossed the road at all. That it is a story concocted by the Clinton Administration to distract attention from their failed agriculture policy. Where is the evidence that the chicken crossed the road? Where, Michael?
The rest can be found here: http://www.infiltec.com/j-chick2.htm
